Some days I just want to throw in the towel.
No, not on my marriage! On this lifestyle. Like, couldn’t we live in a “normal job” environment for just one day? (But just one day – ok, maybe two – and as an experiment, because I really do love our performers’ world.)
I mean, the fun stuff is super fun, but the other stuff… ugh, if we could just take a break, right?
“Well, you knew what you were getting into.”
“Oh stop complaining, you signed up for this.”
< insert your own personal favorite unhelpful comment here >
Just because we knew what we were signing up for doesn’t make it easier. (And also, no, we didn’t really know all of it… because, well, how could we, really?)
There’s a heck of a lot of “stuff” that our men bring home – there’s no getting around it, they’re just a part of the athlete- and performing artist- life. (Have you ever realized just how many similar struggles and challenges (and joys!) that come with careers in athletics and the performing arts?)
And these challenges don’t just affect our guys, they affect us (and our kids), too.
How’s this for a not-exhaustive and in-no-particular-order list of “stuff”:
- performing in high-pressure moments
- frequent travel
- erratic — and at the same time, rigid — schedule
- practice and play every day
- play/perform at all times of the day and night and in changing environments
- working when everyone else isn’t
- solo parenting (this one lands on us!)
- moving frequently
- performance stress/anxiety (your partner’s and/or yours)
- employment uncertainty
- union activity (for better or for worse)
- injury (risk of and performing through)
- playing through pain
- attention from fans
- attention from critics
- career comes first
- pampering
- public scrutiny
It goes on and on…
Thankfully we don’t usually have to deal with ALL of them at the exact same time (although sometimes it can feel like we do)!
How are you managing when one of these comes up? With a lot of stress and strife? Or with peace, thoughtful discernment, and clear-headed action?
Does that second way sound totally unattainable right now?
It is actually possible to have peace, to thoughtfully discern your next steps, and to thrive through whatever craziness is going on in your life. I’m not saying it’s easy! But it’s possible.
Personally, I’ve got a husband who has a performance tonight, leaving me to wrangle three wild life-loving children through homework, dinner, and bedtime (and whatever else might come up). But I’ve decided that I don’t need a babysitter or a mother’s helper or any other reinforcements to get through the evening, because I know I can handle it with a few little mindset shifts and a bit of planning ahead.
A few years ago, I wouldn’t necessarily have handled it too well on my own, and you probably would have caught me in a puddle of tears, curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor – instead of figuring out what I needed to do to get through it.
I’m always here to help you up off the bathroom floor.
